Living the life of a sitcom

Shortly after discovering that we would become temporary bunkmates with the pastor and his family from Wampum Assembly of God for the final week of the school year, I performed a quick head count in the back of my mind before letting out an exasperated sigh while thinking that the cardboard box under the railway overpass was looking more and more appealing by the minute.

How many bathrooms did you say they had?

With three adults, six adolescents and one scruffy dog, we could’ve easily been mistaken for “The Brady Bunch;” and since this handsome devil was the oldest minor in the group, I guess that would make me Greg Brady.

Far out, man!

All I needed was a long collared blue polka dot shirt with matching head bandanna, polyester bell bottoms and a pair of platform shoes as well as an acoustic guitar and some dark shades to pull off the groovy look.

But just like the short-lived television series, so was our time with the Grove family.

Since my father had been elected as the new pastor of Pentecostal Tabernacle Assembly of God in Central City, Pennsylvania at the beginning of April, it was only a matter of time before we loaded up another U-Haul and transported our belongings to the church parsonage in the small hamlet nestled among the peaks of the Appalachian Mountains in Somerset County.

Due to the fact that there were only two months until my high school graduation, Dad had been living out of a suitcase with the bare essentials ever since he delivered his first sermon at an Easter sunrise service to a brand-new congregation; but at least he had some company when my brother John came home from college at the end of April.

The father and son duo were living just like Oscar Madison and Felix Unger in a sparsely settled bachelor pad until our family could be reunited when the clock ticked down to the end of the school year.

In an effort to save on paying another month’s rent on our second-floor apartment, the Odd Couple – along with a few would-be professional movers from the new church – came to pack up all of our worldly possessions on the last day of May to haul it up to the mountainside community.

Now it was our turn to live out of a suitcase!

Thinking we were going to be forced to stay at a local motel for the next eight days, I was overwhelmed when someone approached us with an alternative solution just hours before check-in time.

During our tenure at the thriving church in the mid-sized industrial city north of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, my parents became close friends with their counterparts which were only a stone’s throw away in the next town over from our own; so, it came as no surprise when the couple graciously offered the female members of my family and me a place to stay until I walked the line a week later.

However, I had to shake the cobwebs out of my head when Eddie Grove showed me to his own private paradise with a twin bed, nightstand, chest of drawers and a matching student desk.

It was definitely not Greg Brady’s hipster space in the family attic of their southern California home.

Unfortunately for me, that space was occupied by his sisters!

“This is your home for the next week,” revealed the blond-haired lad beaming from ear to ear as he walked across the hardwood floor and opened the double bi-fold doors to his closet. “There’s a sleeping bag with an extra pillow for you in here; but since there isn’t very much floor space in my bedroom, you can wait until it’s almost bedtime to set up your makeshift bed.”

Could he have been more obvious?

After listening to a few key phrases of my new roommate’s discourse, I sized up the scrawny little seventh grader and could already see a late-night wrestling match playing out on that hardwood floor; after which we congregated around the kitchen table with our four sisters for a bedtime frozen treat.

“I need everyone’s undivided attention,” proclaimed Sister Linda Grove before making an important announcement. “Since Miss Barbara was nice enough to buy some ice cream with all the toppings, youns are going to have the opportunity to make your own sundae before going to bed.”

These adolescents sitting around the table began calling out orders for our favorite flavor with no thought to the disorganized chaos which it was creating.

“One at a time, please,” cautioned Mom after starting to scoop out individual orders. “In light of the fact that I already know what flavor my own kids like, I only need to ask the Grove kids what kind to put in their bowls; and the ice cream condiments are already on the table.”

Vanilla all around!

“Since we’re no longer living a few blocks from Lincoln High School, my teenagers can ride the school bus in the morning; but I’ll have to pick you up following the End of Year Awards Assembly,” she added upon glancing at this high school senior.

“I can probably save you a trip,” I suggested while drizzling caramel topping on my decadent dessert. “Considering the seniors are getting out of school early, I’m planning to eat lunch at Vinny’s Pizza with my friends; so, I’m sure Mags will be able to give me a ride back to Wampum.”

That’s not fair that Mark doesn’t have to go to school next week!

One day you’ll be the one in my shoes!

Once Pastor Webb Grove came into the heart of the home lightly nudging his offspring to begin their nightly routine, I was grinning from ear to ear while wrapping an arm around my brother from another mother as we wandered off to our shared sleeping quarters for the night.

The main event was about to begin!